What makes me a Sex Geek?
What, or who is a Sex Geek? And what is ‘Sex Geekdom’? Before the term entered my vocabulary, I probably would have thought a sex geek was someone who knows things like the exact time code of each sex scene in the Alien Triology. Or perhaps someone who submitted a lot of Being Human erotica to sites like fanfiction.net. The thing that’s great about Sex Geekdom is that I might not have been entirely wrong – I just might have been limited in my initial definition.
The wonderful Kate McCombs (Sex Geekdom’s founder) gives her apt description of a sex geek as “someone with a voracious desire to learn everything there is to know about sex and sexuality…”. Since joining the Sex Geekdom community in August of 2012, I’ve met an eclectic group of people who continue to broaden the way I define myself as a Sex Geek; continuously inciting curiosities in fields of Sex Geekdom culture that I’ve yet to explore.
Being a sex geek influences most areas of my life. During the day, I manage a peer education program supporting youth sexual health. In between facilitating sex ed workshops, I study Law and IT, with a keen interest in Queer legal theory and the way the law interacts with different areas of sexuality. Outside of work and study, a large portion of my spare time is spent geeking out with fellow sex geeks at social events, attending different events provided by Pleasure Forum to Cherchez le Femme‘s monthly gig. Most people get their rocks off during sex, I (and my fellow Sex Geeks), just like to continue the celebration beyond the bedroom.
Although having only recently become involved in Sex Geekdom, I’ve always been engaged in sexuality discourse; with my family, my friends, and anyone who will happily listen. I’ll maintain the privacy of my family’s explicit dinner table discussions of sex and sexuality (a family Christmas tradition) but it was through an open dialogue from a young age, in the safe space of my family home, that I was taught that conversations around sexuality in all its nuances should be explored and celebrated (thanks Mum!).
My interest in Sex Geek culture peaked in my first of year at Griffith Law School (surprising for a Uni that’s literally located in a forest in Queensland). Three years later, the degree’s strong focus on Queer and feminist legal theory has given me a new lens in which to analyse and engage with sex geek culture; from the continuing impact of property law on sexuality, to the legislative tug-o-war on children conceived through international surrogacy programs.
I understand how privileged I am to be able to work, study, and socialise within a framework that reinforces sex-positive discourse and practices. However it’s an unfortunate reality that young people are too often made to feel as if their understanding of sex and sexuality should come naturally, whilst being given little education, skills and language to be able to engage in an honest discussion. As a Sex Geek, my ultimate goal is to enable young people to create opportunities, spaces, and resources for their peers to be able to embrace a more open conversation around sexuality.
This is what I get out of Sex Geekdom. Sex Geekdom Melbourne has given me a community in which to connect with people in a positive social environment. Whether you’re into discussing the joys of masturbation, the latest research in HIV/AIDS, or perhaps even the pH of different lubricants, Sex Geekdom fosters opportunities for like-minded people to come together to geek out about the wonderful world of sex.
You can find Alex on Twitter @alextanglao.